Champagne and Benzedrine!
Champagne and Benzedrine!
A blog for grown ups! A masculine glimpse into sex, relationships, alcohol, cars and adventure
Non-Violence is a Learned Behavior
I don?t know about the rest of you, but I?ve been transfixed with the Charlie Sheen debacle lately. If I had to pick which side I was on, I?d say that I was part of Team Sheen ? even though his behavior achingly reminds me of somebody very close to me who struggles with mental health issues and substance abuse. One bucket of cold water thrown on the Team Sheen thing is Charlie?s history of violence towards women ? which is unforgivable no matter how much ?tigerblood? is coursing through your system. I mean, he shot his ex-wife. He clonked another on the head when she refused to have sex with him. He threatened Denise Richards and held a knife to Brooke Mueller?s throat. Violence is not cool ? and unlike the hypocrites at Jezabel, I don?t really differentiate violence against women and violence against anybody else who doesn?t deserve it. I was always brought up to believe that violence in any form except self-defense is inexcusable, cowardly and uncivilized. But that?s the kick...
Stupid twitterers! Beware the wrarth of STl3!
WARNING: Like with most issues I wade into, I don't know all the facts about this one - this is my opinion based on what I do know. I reserve the right to change my mind depending on what I learn, and encourage people to educate rather than insult me about what I did (and didn't) get wrong.Through an article by the sublime David Wraith, I recently learned of behavior by STl3 (formerly St. Louis Leather and Lace) that I have a serious problem with.During last year's 'Spanksgiving' event, they took a tweeter to task for an offensive tweet he posted and lost the guy his job.The twitterer in question lives up to his name ? he's a twit. He was an employee at the hotel that hosted the annual BDSM convention, and complained about the guests online:"The group stl3 is at the hotel this weekend. They have sex and beat each other. #spanksgiving #disgusting #nasty #fatties.?David Wraith retweeted the offensive comment, which caught the attention of the organizers of Spanksgiving. They mar...
Did Julian Assange commit rape?
As you might have heard, the WikiLeaks guy just got a taste of his own medicine, when police documents about rape allegations made against him were leaked to the press.The tables have turned on Julian AssangeUp until now, we've all been left wondering about the veracity of the allegations against Julian Assange ? as there's no question that they were remarkably convenient, coming at the exact moment the United States government (and presumably many of their allies) were feeling the heat of all the documents and wires Wikileaks was releasing.But were these rape allegations just a cover-up, intended to get the man behind bars? Or did they have some truth behind them?At first, evidence certainly suggested so the former theory. The rape allegations were first dropped entirely almost as soon as they were made. Then, after more Wikileaks documents got released, another prosecutor picked up the case and demanded Assange's extradition from Britain for 'questioning' ? despite the fact t...
Blaxploitation History Month
February is Black History Month ? a celebration of all the amazing contributions African Americans have made to this great nation's history and culture.In a complete departure from political correctness, I'm going to bypass the more obvious things ? the people who fought for the end of slavery, civil rights and the fight for equality and dignity ? and instead look at one of the aspects of African American history that I have always found fascinating, sexy and cool ? Blaxploitation.Get this CD here...Blaxploitation was a genre of movies and music that originated in the seventies, designed specifically to appeal to an urban black audience. Many people these days look back at them with a mixture of embarrassment and disdain ? I personally think they're awesome.Get it here...What was great about the blaxploitation movies from a masculine perspective was that they were empowering. Up until then, black characters were either butlers or bellboys (in traditional mainstream cinema) or int...
Reinventing Champagne & Benzedrine
It's been a LONG time since I've blogged regularly on Champagne and Benzedrine, and I'm sorry.Or perhaps I'm not?The fact is, I think the blog had kind of lost direction ? and what often stirred me into writing was picking fights with bloggers I disagreed with, or stirring up trouble by battling some of the more complacent and challenging concepts frittered about the sex blogging community. The result of this, though, was that my blog became dramatic, sensationalist and sometimes a bit shrill.That's not me.When I started Champagne and Benezedrine, I had a very specific vision about what I wanted the blog to be: Cool, calm, masculine and intelligent. I wanted to put up something that stood on it's own merit amidst the more frequently female-penned high quality sex blogs. A kind of libertarian licentiousness flavored with just a dash of seventies-style chauvinism.So you know what? That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get back into blogging here and reinvent this blog in ...
Why an attack on Eden Fantasys dragged me out of hiatus
I have horribly neglected this blog - but I'm back, in time for a rant.One of my favorite Twitter chums - who I love and adore - pointed out today that the 'auto cue' feed in Google throws up a pretty interesting search result if you type in the words Eden Fantasys - first thing that comes up is 'Eden Fantasys Scam.'While I completely adore my Twitter pal, she and I have a difference of opinion when it comes to my favorite purveyor of provocative playthings (as is her right, and I'm glad we can be friends despite that.) This is why, when she made this discovery, she posted: "There is a reason this company comes up on a Google search in this way."And in her defense, she's absolutely right - there is. But not in the way she might have thought.Because if you write Eden Fantasys into another search engine, like Yahoo, for example, you'll find that the results that get displayed are different - more like you'd expect to find regarding a popular online retailer.So why is Google d...
The muscular African-American man squirmed and writhed against his bonds, but couldn?t get free. He lay helpless and spreadeagled on the enormous bed, naked body glistening in the candlelight.From the bathroom stepped Gina.?Hello, Lover,? she breathed huskily.The gorgeous Italian woman was wearing nothing but a slinky black negligee, which barely hid her beautiful curves and generous breasts. Her thick black hair tumbled around her shoulders. Her eyes glinted mischievously. With a smile on her shining lips, she peered across the hotel room towards the man sitting in the armchair.Her husband, Simon, watching breathlessly in an elegant black suit.Certain that she?d got her husband?s attention, Gina turned her attention back to the bed. Slowly, like a predator, she stalked barefoot across the carpet and clambered into the bed. It rocked under her weight. The big, black man lifted his head to watch the beautiful woman crawl towards him.He gasped as her hot hands touched his legs ? slidi...
Can somebody steal your blog posts?
Dangerous Lilly is on fire recently - her most recent post is in response to Lelo publishing her entire review of their product on their blog without reciprocal links or credit. She's rightfully pissed off. That, in turn, has sparked a lot of debate about what is an isn't 'fair' in taking content somebody else has written and using it on your own website or blog.As a journalist and former law student, I think there's a standard about using written content from other people's blogs that everybody needs to stick to, and some unrealistic expectations bloggers have about their own work.The standard? As a good rule of thumb, you can legally copy, paste and post just about anything from anywhere as long as it meets the legal definition of 'fair use' and you attribute it appropriately. For a journalist, this means always linking back to the original source (the original blog post, or blog itself) and attributing the writing to the person who first wrote it clearly and explicitly.Fo...
The real crimes of the so-called Alexa Di Carlo
After getting fingers wagged at me by Always Aroused Girl and Debauched Domestic Diva over my last post, regarding the 'outing' of blogger Alexa Di Carlo, I've been trawling through the Intertubes to find out more information about the man behind the elaborate blogger alter-ego.I'll admit that I went off a bit half-cocked, based on what I'd learned from the 'exposure' site, exposeabro-alexa.blogspot.com. In my defense, Alexa Di Carlo wasn't even on my radar until people started twittering about her, and 100% of my initial impression of the scandal was gleaned from the Expose a Bro site - which is poorly organized and written.So while my nose was out of joint about AAG swooping in and tell me off with her trademark condescending snark (at least she didn't call me 'Buttercup' this time) she did make me realize that I needed to find out a bit more about what was going on and get the full picture before I start getting opinionated about it.So here's a more concise picture th...
Hypocrisy and the outing of Alexa Di Carlo
The hottie to the left is Debra LeFave. You might remember her from the news a couple of years ago. This teacher from Temple Terrace, Fla., was convicted of statutory rape in 2004 for having sex with one of her 14-year-old pupils.One of the most notable things about this news story was how the media reacted to it. If it had been a male teacher seducing a 14-year-old female student, there'd have been the regular outraged cries of 'sexual predator.'Instead, the media and the public were suspiciously soft on LeFave. They focused on the fact that she was an attractive young woman, and that somehow made her crime 'acceptable.'I'll admit, I thought that way myself. If I'd still been a horny 14-year-old, the thought of a willowy, blond teacher seducing me might have kept my personal 'spank bank' filled with fantasies for many months to come.But the fact is, that's hypocrisy.What Debra LeFave did was no better than a male teacher using his position of authority to seduce an undera...
The WRONG message
Today, as most you you know, is National Coming Out Day - which is described as "an internationally observed civil awareness day for coming out and discussion about gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual and transgender (LGBT) issues."It's a day in which the LGBT community and their supports encourage each other to stand up and be counted - letting their friends, families and community know that they're lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. The aim of this is to help people understand that the LGBT community consists of regular people - our friends, our family members and people we interact with every single day. It takes a lot of courage to 'come out' to people you know - and I have huge admiration for the people who do.A great example of somebody doing this is Panda Dementia.However, today my NCOD fervor was somewhat tempered by a post on SexIs about The Beautiful Kind - a popular sex blogger who embraced the notion of NCOD by 'coming out' with her real name and face for the world...
It's not always about homophobia
Today, knickers are in a grand twist about a tweet rapper 50 Cent wrote:In an epic journalistic fail, the gay magazine Fenuxe interpreted this with the headline: "50 Cent Tells Gays to Commit Suicide."Sorry to break it to you, Fenuxe, but you're way off the mark here.50 Cent - ludicrous, overpaid and undertalented as he is - was not making a homophobic statement. It had nothing to do with homosexuals at all - he was crudely insulting (straight) men who refuse to give oral sex to their (female) lovers.To insinuate that it was homophobic requires manipulating 50 Cents words and intentions grossly.It means making a transparently false assumption that the only men who don't perform cunnilingus are gay (and as many of my female friends will tell you, that's sadly far from true - their boyfriends don't go down on them either.)It's obvious to pretty much everybody what the over-muscled lump was attempting to say - and although he's made vaguely homophobic remarks in the past, this cl...
Some people might be aware that I used to have a very antagonistic relationship with fellow blogger Britni - so much so that I simply stopped reading her tweets and blog because they would annoy me so much.Just today, I succumbed to temptation and had a peek at both, to see what had been going on Chez Shameless over the past few months - and was pretty damn impressed.My major beef with Brit was always that she'd wheel out diatribes about the inequalities of life while obliviously enjoying those inequalities herself.She had a iPhone and a Kindle and a fairly new German car, all apparently paid for on Mummy and Daddy's dime because she lived at home and didn't have a job. It didn't necasserily invalidate her opinions - but it certainly undermined them.As a guy working three jobs, trying to support his family and pay for health insurance, I found half the stuff she wrote insulting and hypocritical and dismissed her as a silly little girl who needed to go out into the real world and...
Review: Book of Goddess by The Beautiful Kind
It's fair to say that most of us bloggers are gratuitous self-publicists (I know I certainly am) but very few of us every successfully elevate our online presence to that of a 'brand.'One of the few who has is The Beautiful Kind, whose blog actually resembles an online sex magazine more than just a regular blog.One of the things I only recently noticed on The Beautiful Kind is her online eBook: The Book of Goddess.Since I'm in the writing and publishing industry myself, I gave it a look and here's what I thought:The Book of Goddess: Elevating your Desirability to Mythic Proportionsby The Beautiful KindLet me lay my cards right on the table - I was prepared to judge this eBook by it's virtual cover.Although I'm wildly impressed with The Beautiful Kind's online presence, she'd made a few inopportune comments on her Twitter feed that had given me the impression that she was a little superficial, narcissistic and full of herself - and at first glance, this book might reinforce ...
"I don't find redheaded men attractive."
"I don't find redheaded men attractive."A blogger who I was actually a fan of casually threw that into her twitter stream the other day and, while it certainly wasn't her intention, it made me pretty mad.Yes, I took it personally - because I'm redheaded and I spent the first two decades of my life hearing people say things like that. But just because I took it personally doesn't mean it's also a pretty shitty thing to write.Hey, don't get me wrong. I know that we're all attracted to different physical types - I'll admit I've got a soft spot for Italian/Jewish looking women, prim and proper brunettes and fit-but-fat blonds.But I don't think I've ever said "I'm not attracted to blah-de-blah" as an entire group because attractiveness involves so much more than just looks.It's a subtle cocktail of looks, personality, attitude and brains and to rule one out or in based on something so utterly superficial as the color of their hair is... well, utterly superficial.I'll admit,...
Is Fat a Feminist Issue?
Gorgeous, isn't she?I was idly browsing amateur online porn today and something occurred to me - so-called 'fat' women still have the potential to be wildly sexy, in a way that overweight men simply don't.I know that 'fat' is supposed to be a 'feminist issue,' and many people blog about 'fat acceptance' and how society has an unrealistic standard of female beauty. It occurs to me, though, that the everyday, average 'overweight' female still has the capacity to be incredibly sexy, whereas overweight men generally don't. It's certainly one of the reason why I worked so hard to lose 30lbs last year.Women are 'supposed' to be generously proportioned, and extra padding makes many women appear more feminine and fertile (to heterosexual men, that is - not necessarily the women and gay men in the fashion industry.)Men, on the other hand, are 'supposed' to be strong, muscular and lean - like dangerous animals. Part of our raw sexual identity is buried into genetic coding th...
Late to the Party
I haven't been blogging or tweeting much recently because of the overwhelmingly negative atmosphere that seems to pervade the sex blogging community of late.Typically, the moment I reappeared on the scene was the moment I witnessed more bloggy drama.This time, it was a blog post on View from the Floor - the blog of the wonderful Carrie Ann. She didn't actually write it (a fact that a spectacular number of bloggers seem to have missed) but it was, entirely understandably, the cause of a lot of drama.Just for the record, I'd like to say that I totally disagree with 'It's Your Body.' I do respect people's right to have an opinion - but it turned out that Taylor's opinion really didn't sit comfortably with me.I have caused consternation amongst some of the more opinionated sex bloggers by trying to open up a dialogue about how 'personal responsibility' and 'victim blaming' are two very different things (read Laurel's amazing post 'Taking Responsibility' for a smart descr...
I have decided that there is a previously underrated fetish that needs promotion - hot girls cooking bacon.Because ultimately gorgeous naked women and delicious fried pork produce are two of my favorite things and the concept of combining them is erotically intoxicating.Although I am worried I'm alone in this fetish. Quickly visiting findkinkypeople.com it's apparent that slash/bacon is not amongst their 'I'm into' category. We've got age play, animal roles, BDSM and bondage but nothing about hot girls makin' bacon.Maybe I am a pervert after all...
Should gay men be allowed to donate blood?
The awesome Essin' Em brought to my attention today the FDA's decision to continue disallowing men who've had sex with men (and women who've had sex with men who've had sex with men) from donating blood.This is an interesting topic. I know many people feel that the FDA's decision is nothing short of a disgrace, and totally discriminatory. I am less certain where my feelings lie, because I am one of the 7% of US residents banned from donating blood for a different reason.I am British, and according to the FDA anybody who has spent more than three months living in Europe is banned from donating blood - because of the risk of passing Variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease during a transfusion.As you'll remember, the 'Mad Cow' epidemic in Britain saw a spike of humans infected with the deadly disease and at least three cases were directly as a result of blood transfusions.I get that decision by the FDA. It's impossible to screen human blood for the prions that might eventually lead...
Lingerie Advert Genuinely Sexy Shocker!
Okay, so this is old news to most of you, but new news to me. During the Sunday-night lineup, both Fox and CNN apparently refused to air this lingerie ad because it featured a 'plus sized' model.The reason was that it 'wasn't appropriate' for a family audience - yet they frequently squeezed ads for Victoria's Secret in there (and earlier in the daytime) which featured women wearing considerably racier attire.Why I believe the ad was banned? Because it's genuinely sexy.I'll admit I don't raise an eyebrow watching the Victoria's Secret ads. They're like background music to me - but this ad literally made my jaw drop open (and something else travel in the opposite direction.) It's simply hot.Women with curves are hot - simple as that. Fox and friends won't put an advert like this on TV because it actually solicits the kind of reaction the Victoria's Secret ad is intended to (but doesn't.)The only thing thing that annoys me is how this model is described as 'plus sized'...
On Oral Love and Lockjaw: How Can I Come Quicker?
I love getting a blowjob.There?s really nothing like the intimacy and eroticism of watching a beautiful girl lavishly slather your shaft in saliva ? teasing you with her lips and tongue until you detonate. It?s indulgent, selfish and wonderful.Sadly, I don?t get as many blowjobs as I?d like - because my wife thinks I deliberately take too long to come.She loves giving blowjobs, and is astonishingly talented at them. Her mouth is like a warm, wet vacuum and she matches enthusiasm with a total lack of inhibition ? hungrily slurping and sucking like my cock is the most delicious ice-lolly on the planet. But I?ll admit, it takes me a long time to come ? to build up to that inevitable explosion that she gulps down so greedily.She thinks I?m being selfish ? that I enjoy her sucking my cock so much I deliberately hold off on climaxing (and give her lockjaw as a result.) This couldn?t be further from the truth. Although I wallow in the indulgent ecstasy of oral sex, I?m as eager to blow my...
Does ?The Patriarchy? really exist?
Ever since I joined Twitter, I?ve been railing against the concept of ?patriarchy? that so many feminist-minded people incessantly tweet about.Yet I have to admit, everything I know about the so-called ?patriarchy? is gleaned from my arguments with other people ? never on what I bothered to research for myself. So, in the spirit of my new resolution, I thought I?d stop blathering and actually look up the subject ? so I can base my opinion on facts and knowledge, rather than just reacting ignorantly to something somebody else said.It was quite an interesting journey ? and while I eventually arrived very far from where some of my twitter nemeses might like, it certainly opened my eyes to a lot of where they come from.I started off the way everybody should ? Wikipedia.[A lot of people complain that Wikipedia, being user generated, somehow isn?t a worthwhile reference. 99.9% of these people only do so because Wikipedia doesn?t support whatever point they?re trying to make.]Interestingly...
Putting the Positive back in Sex Positivity
Heeding the advice of the wonderful PandaDementia and grudgingly admitting that even Britni's last comment actually made a few pertinent points, I have decided to practice what I preach and am going to make a concerted effort to make this blog about sex positivity - which chiefly stems from actually being positive.So no more snark. No more drama. No more criticisms of other bloggers, even if they're being critical themselves. No more pointing out quite ridiculous examples of hypocrisy. No more criticizing the general atmosphere of negativity while simultaneously contributing to it.Just back to sex, and everything positive about it. Being positive.Just like losing weight or quitting drinking, it won't be easy to change my habits - and I may fall off the wagon once or twice - but I'm going to make the effort.
Why I Stay Loyal to Eden Fantasys
So today saw another scandal break with online adult store Eden Fantasys, with a complicated problem being identified with the way in which they embed supposedly-reciprocal links into their site. I'm not even going to bother explaining it - because AAG has explained it as concisely and accurately as I believe is humanly possible - and MaybeMaimed has explained it as verbosely and extensively as humanly possible here.And okay, here's the thing. I've tried to avoid admitting it, but Eden Fantasys are in the wrong here. God knows, I made a passionate and reasoned response to AAG girl's post, but as John Adams said: "Facts are stubborn things." You can't really skirt around the fact that Google consider their behavior at the very least 'unethical.'But I'm not going to offer my two cents on that particular issue, as I think Google themselves, and Eden's online partners will have their own thoughts on the issue and will react accordingly. Personally, I don't think this is going ...
Sex Positivity starts with Positivity: EF vs Epiphora
It's no secret to readers of Champagne and Benzedrine that Epiphora and I aren't exactly bosom buddies - and in her defense, I was entirely responsible for starting our particular feud (calling her out for writing unfairly negative reviews almost a year ago.)It's her generally negative attitude that explains why, when I heard about yesterday's spat between Epiphora and Eden Fantasys, that my initial reaction was: "Quelle fucking surprise."So our erstwhile blogger got herself banned from the forums and review program on Eden for apparent "drama, rudeness, and overall negativity." I argue that isn't exactly out of character for her.That being said, I don't really contribute to the EF forums much so can't fairly comment on whether or not Epiphora's 'crimes' justified her punishment (although it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if they did.)What I can comment on is how ridiculous all the hyperbole about Eden Fantasys has become."They fucked up big time," said one blo...
Since we've been talking about Body Image recently, I thought I'd reflect on an aspect of it that's very important to me.Although by no means as prevalent in America as it is in England, there's always been an undercurrent in the media that red-headed men simply aren't sexually attractive.According to magazines, television and movies, we're the antithesis of what's supposedly attractive to women - the cliche of being 'tall, dark and handsome' - with the emphasis on 'dark.'In America, Eric Stolz and David Caruso do a sterling job portraying red-headed men who actually do get laid, but in the British media, it's normally the opposite.From Ron Weasley in Harry Potter (portrayed as 'the funny guy,' the amusing coward and the generally incompetent sidekick) to lesser known characters (like Martin the ginger virgin from 'Game On') it's a basic requirement of lazy writing that if you want to portray a character as insecure, timid, meek and sexually void - just give him gin...
When Sex Toys go Bad
Unless you're a Sex Blogger - in which sex toy materials are probably second nature to you - it's easy to assume that all dildos and vibrators are created equal.Not so - some are made of substances that can do nasty things to you (like jelly) and some are made of substances that can pick up and carry nasty things (TPE and any non-sterilizable plastics) and some you can do nasty things to yourself (try silicone lube on a silicone dildo - or rather, don't.)But until a recent clean out of my sex toy box, I never realized what nasty things sex toys could do to each other.Like the Sapphire Enhancer Ring by Cal Exotics, for example. One of my favorite cock rings, made of thermoplastic rubber, it was always kept within easy reach.Except unfortunately, that easy reach was touching the Vac-U-Lok Realistic Dong Royale (in Europe, we call it the Vac-U-Lok Realistic Quarter Pounder.) This big, black rubber cock was also within easy reach (but we never use it without a condom, kids.)The two d...
...and finally, On Beauty
Let's just remember that you don't need to be skinny to be sexy:April Flores; even more stunning in personYou don't need to be pretty to be beautiful:You don't have to be a white man to succeed:You don't have to be young to be a badass:Conforming to society's expectations in terms of age, looks, color or gender certainly gives us all a leg-up in life, but won't guarantee success or make failure inevitable.Whether you think your disadvantages stop you from making the most of your life or not, ultimately you're right.
Horny Goat Weed: The Facts
Living in America, we're bombarded by advertising - especially adverts promoting certain prescription drugs. Of these, one of the most famous is sildenafil citrate - more commonly known as Viagra.Viagra is a drug used to treat erectile dysfunction - the inability to get or maintain an erection. This highly effective product has proven wildly popular with men 'of a certain age.' It's also a firm favorite as a recreational drug, used by everybody from porn stars to politicians to increase their sexual ability.There are several downsides to Viagra, though. Firstly, it's still under patent and therefore pharmaceutical producer Pfizer have a monopoly on the market (making each pill fairly expensive.) Secondly, it's only available with a prescription. Thirdly, it does have some risk of side effects, including increased blood pressure and even the risk of heart attack.This has led many people to try and find a 'natural' alternative for Viagra - and handed unscrupulous companies a h...