Evil Minions, Inc. Evil Minions, Inc. Everyone needs an outlet for the frustrations that arise from the daily grind. This is probably doubly true for the henchmen and women, who put their necks on the line day in and day out, all in the name of a little thing called world domination.
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A rough day at the office
2007-08-09 19:31:00 A new shipment of killer sharks arrived at the lair yesterday. Guess who had to install the laser beam head gear? That's right, yours truly. Man, sometimes I really hate this job. I know I shouldn't think like that...but seriously, have you ever had to get in a tank full of 15 killer sharks and attach laser beams to their heads? Didn't think so.First of all, their name says it all. These fuckers are killer fucking sharks. Not teddy bears. Ever rub a shark the wrong way? That shit hurts. And killer sharks don't care if you're technically on the "same side". Second, The Boss is a fucking tightwad. Instead of hooking us up with those phat Japanese laser joints, he buys the cheapos that are probably put together by 5-year-old sweatshop workers in Guatemala. Five-year-olds don't know shit about lasers, that's for sure. Plus, these pieces of junk tend to go off for no reason at all. That's how our first batch of sharks got ruined in the first place. They just lasered each other to...
A rough day at the office
2007-08-09 19:31:00 A new shipment of killer sharks arrived at the lair yesterday. Guess who had to install the laser beam head gear? That's right, yours truly. Man, sometimes I really hate this job. I know I shouldn't think like that...but seriously, have you ever had to get in a tank full of 15 killer sharks and attach laser beams to their heads? Didn't think so.First of all, their name says it all. These fuckers are killer fucking sharks. Not teddy bears. Ever rub a shark the wrong way? That shit hurts. And killer sharks don't care if you're technically on the "same side". Second, The Boss is a fucking tightwad. Instead of hooking us up with those phat Japanese laser joints, he buys the cheapos that are probably put together by 5-year-old sweatshop workers in Guatemala. Five-year-olds don't know shit about lasers, that's for sure. Plus, these pieces of junk tend to go off for no reason at all. That's how our first batch of sharks got ruined in the first place. They just lasered each other to...
Europeans heighten threat levels
2007-08-09 14:46:00 The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the Englishand French who are on a heightened level of alert.Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elabora...
Europeans heighten threat levels
2007-08-09 14:46:00 The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the Englishand French who are on a heightened level of alert.Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elabora...
German is the language of the Devil
2007-08-07 18:15:00 I always knew it sounded evil, but evidently the word itself was derived from German.The modern English word 'evil' (Old English Yfel) and its cognates such as the German 'Übel' are widely considered to come from a Proto-Germanic reconstructed form *Ubilaz, comparable to the Hittite huwapp- ultimately from the Proto-Indo-European form *wap- and suffixed zero-grade form *up-elo-. Other later Germanic forms include Middle English evel, ifel, ufel Old Frisian evel (adjective & noun), Old Saxon ubil, Old High German ubil, and Gothic ubils. The root meaning is of obscure origin though shown to be akin to modern English 'over' and modern German 'über' (OE ofer) and 'up' (OE up, upp) with the basic idea of "transgressing".Look how many damn German words they have for evil or something like it! I gotta get there quick! I bet they let you kill babies too.
German is the language of the Devil
2007-08-07 18:15:00 I always knew it sounded evil, but evidently the word itself was derived from German.The modern English word 'evil' (Old English Yfel) and its cognates such as the German 'Übel' are widely considered to come from a Proto-Germanic reconstructed form *Ubilaz, comparable to the Hittite huwapp- ultimately from the Proto-Indo-European form *wap- and suffixed zero-grade form *up-elo-. Other later Germanic forms include Middle English evel, ifel, ufel Old Frisian evel (adjective & noun), Old Saxon ubil, Old High German ubil, and Gothic ubils. The root meaning is of obscure origin though shown to be akin to modern English 'over' and modern German 'über' (OE ofer) and 'up' (OE up, upp) with the basic idea of "transgressing".Look how many damn German words they have for evil or something like it! I gotta get there quick! I bet they let you kill babies too.
Just to set the tone here II
2007-08-07 10:08:00 Ok, blogger is also pure evil. Showing error messages but actually posting the damn thing is not convenient.And how the fuck does one delete a post ... guess that's up to our unholy master ...S.L.H.
Just to set the tone here
2007-08-07 10:08:00 Just for those of you who thought Satan's Little Helper would start a debate in the comments anything here, I just want you to know:Also I wanted to try whether my login works ...S.L.H
Just to set the tone here II
2007-08-07 10:08:00 Ok, blogger is also pure evil. Showing error messages but actually posting the damn thing is not convenient.And how the fuck does one delete a post ... guess that's up to our unholy master ...S.L.H.
Just to set the tone here
More articles from this author:2007-08-07 10:08:00 Just for those of you who thought Satan's Little Helper would start a debate in the comments anything here, I just want you to know:Also I wanted to try whether my login works ...S.L.H 1-30, 31-60 |
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