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Stranded - YouTube Comedy of the Year 2006
2007-04-27 14:56:00
This short was rated YouTube’s 2006 Best Comedy Award Winner. Check it out: I think writing a diary would be the last thing on my mind if I ended up on a deserted island however Tom Hanks did it in Cast Away (2000) so you never know. You may also remember watching the movie Alive back from 1993, where a plane crashed in the Andes mountains and the passengers ate each other to stay ‘alive’. Is this purely hollywood sensationalism that is made for movies only? Noooo! Without getting into to many details: -there have been documented cases of ritual cannibalism and cannibalism due to extreme famine -new research points to the fact that our early ancestors were cannibals; scientists suggest that today some people still carry a gene that evolved as protection against brain diseases that can be spread by consuming human flesh -and if you wiki the topic, you’ll get more information on the topic than you ever wanted For those of you who were consi...
More About: Videos , Humor

Jessica Lynch Sets the Record Straight
2007-04-25 20:43:00
Jessica Lynch, the most publicized prisoner of war from Iraq, recently gave her version of capture in Iraq. And surprise, surprise, Jessica Lynch’s version of the story is very different than what the US Government lead the general public to believe. The US Government seems to have played big role in hyping the event. Jessica Lynch has openly said that the reports about her were false and were blown to Rambo like proportions. For example: 1. Though the Government has awarded her with a Purple Heart and other medals, Jessica says that she didn?t even get to fire her weapon ?cos it was jammed. 2. As per Jessica, they were taken prisoner because their Humvee banged into another truck in front of them and not because ?they were ambushed in war? 3. Though Jessica did sustain injuries, broken arm, six inch gash on her forehead, she had not been shot at as per the US Government reports. 4. Jessica was rescued by Special Operations team, but as per her story, the Iraqi nurses...

Has the fat lady sung?
2007-04-25 18:37:00
If ?The View? was one of your favorite daytime chat shows, you’ll want to read this! Rosie O’Donnell announced today that she will be leaving the show by mid-June. Apparently ABC, (the network The View airs on), wanted Rosie O’Donnell to sign a three year contract however Rosie O’Donnell only wanted a one year contract. It doesn’t surprise me that ABC wanted the star to sign a three year contract because ratings sky rocketed after Rosie O’Donnell replaced Star Jones on the show. Why did Rosie only want a one year contract? Isn’t three years better for her? Let’s face it…The View was probably on borrowed time if Rosie O’Donnell hadn’t come on board. She’s boosted ratings significantly and probably wasn’t getting a big enough raise for her contract renewal, (and didn’t want to lock it in for three years). If she were to only sign for one year…she could ask for another raise in a...

Gun Trade in Pakistan
2007-04-24 16:00:00
Here’s a documentarial view that you may not have seen before. Main stream TV shows that the war in Afghanistan is over however film maker Suroosh Alvi tells a different story. BTW - Is ‘documentarial’ a word? The cameras go deep into the northwest frontier province of Pakistan under protection of their own private militia to see the largest illegal arms market in the world. Where is the second largest illegal arms market in the world? Coincidentally in Pakistan as well! In Pakistan, you can buy:-9mm handgun for $50 -Italian Rifle for $150 -Russian Kalakov for $180 -American Muzzelite for $250 Is it just me, or does pricing seem too economical for anyone’s good? For example, a 30 GB Apple iPod sells for $249 or less. If there were as many American Muzzelites in ciculation as iPods, there would be 100 million in curculation as of April 2007! Don’t even get me started on iPod Nanos! Do coillitian troops really have a chance against peopl...
More About: Videos

Texting Championships?
2007-04-23 20:40:00
I spent some time in Asia a few years ago. It amazed me how everyone sent ‘texts’ back and forth instead of picking up the phone. My friends/collegues/acquantences told me that they’d ‘text me’ about any given subject. I quickly realized that this was because outgoing text messages are free in certain markets. What supprised me recently was that cell phone, (and other electronic), manufacture sponsored a texting contest, (LG National Texting Championship)! And who was the winner? 13 year old Morgan Pozgar of Claysburg, PA. She texted “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” from the movie Mary Poppins in just 15 seconds to win $10,000. I can barely type it that fast on my PC’s QWERTY keybord. Morgan says that she sends more than 4,000 text messages a month. Since texting is usually not free in North America, her next set of 4, 000 text messages are going to be sent to her mom & dad saying that “I will not run up a $10,0...

Women Can?t Golf?
2007-04-23 17:06:00
…or can they? I used to think golf was a game for men who couldn’t play a real sport like baseball, football, or hockey. Then I started playing it. Golf has never been as popular with it being embraced by all ages, men and women alike. It’s a tough sport! Checkout this video of LPGA, (Ladies Professional Golf Association), Champion Natalie Gulbis who makes an incredible shot. Don’t care about golf? Take a look at the video anyway….Natalie Gulbis is HOT!
More About: Videos

Stefani - Apprentice Season 6 Winner
2007-04-23 08:05:00
Stefani, 32 year old, California based lawyer is the official winner of Apprentice Season 6. James apparently lost because he ‘made some comments’ that Donald Trump didn’t like. Anybody have an idea of what these were? If you do, leave me a comment and fill me in! Stefani was born in Burbank, California and raised in Palm Springs. She had a double major in college - English and psychology - and graduated from the University of California, Riverside. Stefani graduated in the top 10% of her class from Southwestern University School of Law in their prestigious SCALE program, the only two-year Juris Doctor program in the United States accredited by the American Bar Association. Selected as a Los Angeles Magazine ‘Young Rising Star’ in 2006 for excellence in law, Stefani was a trial attorney for one of the largest California defense firms before being chosen the next Apprentice. She used to defend California employers against worker’s compensati...

Accidental Porn?Or is it?
2007-04-20 17:05:00
Is my mind just in the gutter or is this stuff really dirty?!? Gotta love accidental advertising porn. But is it an accident or intentional? Subliminal manipulation excites a passionate reaction and since sex is still somewhat of a taboo subject…it excites all the more. The moral of my story at the end of this post. You’d like what? Only if you give me a deal on the house! Maybe this is where Betty Jo got her realtors license. Dick is Betty Joe’s husband. Are you surprised? If you were to look at their client lists, I would bet that Ms. Morecock’s male to female client ratio and Dick’s female to male ratio would be little higher than usual. Please bear in mind that these realtors were most likely not intending to sexually attract clients, but most likely are by accident. Why do you think poshy restaurants only hire hot chicks? Have you ever went back to the same coffee shop and ordered the same crappy coffee because the ...
More About: Funny

Website Down. Website Up. Website Down.
2007-04-20 06:01:00
And hopefully website up now for a long while. Being the ‘economical’ person I am, I had opted to have a buddy host my blog. And since the only other thing he was hosting on the server was his grandmother’s ‘Dancing Jesus’ website, he wasn’t to concerned with security. And what happened? Some ‘unfearing hacker’, (those are granny’s words), took advantage of the lack of security updates. Now I’ve decided to fork out some cash and get the site hosted since we have some semi-regular readers now. And since I’ve done the homework, I thought I’d fill you in on what I looked for in a host, (and since I’m not as geeky as I’d like to be…it’s all in layman’s terms): 1. Reliability - If you have a site, make sure it stays up! 2. Speed - Faster is better; most people don’t stick arround to watch a page load. Have you noticed my page loading faster? 3. Security - Uh…duh....

Never Drop Your Spoon!
2007-04-20 05:20:00
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup, I asked, “Why the spoon?” “Well,” he explained, “the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.” As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time...

Will Ferrell vs. Landlord
2007-04-18 05:19:00
Will Ferrell is trying his hand at the interent and is producing/starring in made for internet shorts. Is he funny? Or should he go the way of the dot-com bubble? You be the judge! A two-minute comedy video of Will Ferrell fighting with his landlord would be funny. But when you make the landlord a 2-year-old girl with a temper and a drinking problem, you’ve got comedy gold. The viral video is called “The Landlord,” a simple production between Ferrell and longtime collaborator Adam McKay. It’s McKay’s 2-year-old daughter who plays Pearl, Ferrell’s verbally abusive landlord with a penchant for beer.
More About: Videos , Humor

Would you have sex with Paris Hilton?
2007-04-16 22:13:00
Okay, here’s the scenario: You are in Hollywood and out for a night of drinking at a local hot spot. You’ve had a few drinks but are still with it enough to spot hotel heiress Paris Hilton out of the corner of your eye. Armed with a stomach full of liquid courage, you make your move. You go up to Paris and ask for a ‘guided tour of her hotel’. She laughs, tells you that she likes funny guys, and asks if you if you want to go home with her. What do you do after you get back to her place? 1. Sleep with her and see what all the fuss is about? 2. Tell Paris Hilton that you need to go to the bathroom but ramble through her mail drawer and hope to find Nicole Ritchie’s phone number instead? 3. Just ask her if you can be in the next season of ‘The Simple Life’? If you picked: -Number 1, you are S.O.L. my friend because you now have herpes! Yes, that is correct, Paris Hilton has herpes…see here for the prescription to prove...

Little Girl Talking About a Monster
2007-04-13 23:03:00
Most of the videos I post are PG-13 or better but I couldn’t help but post this one of a little girl who is afraid of monsters. Brought to you by ZooBat Kicking Monster A$$ Initiative
More About: Videos , Humor

Fight Traffic Tickets?How to Increase Chance of Winning
2007-04-08 20:32:00
Got a speeding ticket? The first thing you should always do is NOT PLEAD GUILTY, (even if you are guilty as hell), and ask for a court date. You can usually do this in person at the court house or via phone, mail, internet (just check the back of your ticket for information on how to dispute a ticket). Since most of our readership is not located in France, we are not under Napoleonic law so we are innocent until proven guilty. Once you get your court date, delay the proceedings by getting as many continuances as you can. Continuances are fairly easy to get and valid reasons include - you are going to be out to town, have an urgent doctors appointment that cannot be rescheduled, you are sick, you cannot get the day off work etc. Be creative and use other excuses if you like, (be sure to leave them in my comments). The more continuances you get, the better chance you have of getting your fine dismissed, (because as time passes, the greater chance that the officer who ...

15 Ways to be Annoying
2007-04-07 15:23:00
1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money. 2) If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call. 3) Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your backyard and tell your neighbors that you’re a ‘’spider person.” 4) When attending a movie you’ve already seen, yell out: ”Don’t let him in! He’s the killer!” 5) When buying a goldfish at a pet store, ask the salesperson how often you should walk it. 6) When in a crowded elevator, say loudly: ”I hope I fixed it this time.” 7) Beep when a large person backs up. Look around suspiciously in public and tell onlookers about the ”little men.” 9) Insist on making inanimate objects ”dance” 10) Occasionally talk into your hand in public. 11) Carry a duffel bag onto an elevator, wait until it’s full, then ask if anyone knows how to disarm a bomb in less than 19 se...

Just in time for Easter?a Dirty Priest!
2007-04-07 01:46:00
OH MY GOD, priests are dirty! Check out the video and then my commentary. Loading...dirty priest wedding', '1893580020', '432', '342', '0', '0', 'utf-8', ''); //--> As of recent…okay forget about recent. For as long as I remember, there has alwasy been news about how a priest has molested kids and/or women. What’s the solution? Let them have sex! I’m sure it was a lot easier to stay selibet back in the day when women were normally covered from head to tow…but in the day of ‘late night Baywatch reruns’, a man must get really frustrated! Sign my petition by leaving me a comment and I’ll forward it to the pope!
More About: Videos , Humor

Mommy and Daddy Dearest
2007-04-05 15:10:00
There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer. So the teacher asks Bobby, ?What is this animal called?? ?I dunno,? claims Bobby. So then she says, ?I’ll give you a hint?it’s what your mother calls your father.? The boy thinks for a minute and then says, ?Oh that’s what a son of a bitch looks like!?
More About: Mommy

Lifeguard Takes Pee Break
2007-04-04 15:09:00
Makes you think twice about going to a public pool!
More About: Videos , Humor

Donald Trump Shaves Head
2007-04-02 16:54:00
Well not exactly his head…but WWE, (World Wrestling Entertainment), owner Vince McMahon’s head. A little background for you, a few weeks ago in WWE reality, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon challenged each other to a match at Wrestlemania where their appointed wrestlers would face each other, (because both are not in any shape to actually fight). The winner of the match would then get to shave the loser’s head! Here’s the video of Donald Trump shaving Vince McMahon’s head: And since I cannot go without adding my two cents…here’s my commentary. The Donald loves to be in the headlines. From his somewhat highly rated show, The Apprentice, to his ongoing battle with Rosie O’Donnell, Donald Trump loves soaking in the limelight. Considering the fact that everyone also loves talking about his hair, if Donald Trump had ended up getting his head shaved, he would have been on the cover of every magazine, the front page of ever...
More About: Videos

All Brits are Weird?
2007-03-31 19:24:00
Okay, not all Brits are wierd…but this family is completely bonkers! Can you imagine breast feeding your children till they are five and eight?!? I have fond memories trading lunches with my classmates in grade school. Who would ever want to trade their sandwhich for little Suzie’s lunch!
More About: Videos

Cheater, Cheater Pumpkin Eater!
2007-03-30 16:48:00
I use VOIP (Voice Over Internet Protocal) and video conferencing to chat with friends and collegues on a regular basis. Saves me a ton of $$$. For those who aren’t familiar with these types of services, you can use programs like Yahoo Chat, Google Talk, and Skype to talk to people around the world who have interent access for free. Checkout the hillarious spoof on online chatting below then read my comments: Is online cheating a side effect of the internet age? Do you know of anyone who has been cheated on by a parter who met someone online? The high penetration of internet access has made it easier to cheat. Mind you, I’m not promoting the fore mentioned activity only mentioning a fact. I firmly beleive that you should trust your partner. If you don’t trust him/her…there is no reason for you to be together. If you still feel that you need to assure yourself that they are or aren’t cheating? Get some internet monitoring software li...
More About: Videos , Humor

50 Rules Women Wish Men Would Learn
2007-03-29 17:41:00
All you people out there in a relationship need to do me a quick favor…PLEASE tell me that all the rules below aren’t true! I’ve had fantasies that involve of #3, #8, and #39 promptly followed by a #38! 1. Call 2. Don?t lie 3. Never tape any of her body parts together 4. If guys night out is going to be fun, invite the girls 5. If guys night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting 6. The correct answer to Do I look fat?? is never, ever ?Yes?. 7. Ditto for ? Is she prettier than me?? 8. Victoria?s Secret is good. Frederick?s of Hollywood is bad 9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad 10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad. 11. ?Honey?, ?Darling?, and ?Sweetheart? are good. ?Nag?, ?Lardass? and ?Bitch? are bad 12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony. 13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question. 14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettie...

Online Dating is for Losers?
2007-03-27 17:56:00
…or is it? It was not long ago that people generally met their future spouses when they were in high school. Then college or university education became mandatory and people began putting off marriage until later… and later… and later. In 2007, it is not uncommon for people to wait until their late 20s or early 30s to get married. Unfortunately for those who wait, it is harder to meet people now that they aren’t going to keggers, toga parties, etc. These activities have been replaced with working late to climbing the corporate ladder, developing a taste for once boring activities like golf and tai chi, etc. Enter online dating. Who’s your daddy? Online dating is no longer for losers. The internet is the daddy of all singles bars minus the loud music and drunk people, (unless you are in front of your keyboard with the music cranked and an empty bottle of vodka). Beats your mom setting you up with someone with a ‘great personality...

Devil in Church
2007-03-27 17:24:00
One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving… seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?” The man replied, “Yep, sure do.” Satan asked, “Aren’t you afraid of me?” “Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man. Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?” ...
More About: Devil , Church

The Sixth Sense?
2007-03-24 15:08:00
A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying “God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.” The father asked, “Why did you say good-bye grandpa?” The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.” The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.” The next day the grandmother died. Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, “God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.” He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a c...

Secret to a Happy Marriage
2007-03-24 00:08:00
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. “What a peaceful & loving couple!” A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. “Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, ‘That’s once’.” “We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’ “We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. “I started an angry protest over her treatment to the horse, while I was shouting; She looked at me, and quietly said, ‘That’s once&...