DirectoryHumorBlog Details for "the Free Porn Times" "46"

the Free Porn Times

the Free Porn Times
Spoof adult news blog where headlines and stories are inspired by free porn sites and galleries.

Articles

OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL PLUG THE GENERATION GAP
2007-10-24 20:39:00
oldfartsyoungtarts.com · A government sponsored scheme is helping young people get in touch with the older generation and ?plug? the generational gap. By this we don?t mean a social exercise but raw, uncompromised sex. The Ministry for Sexual Affairs believes that it is particularly useful if young ladies wear extremely tight clothing devoid of any underwear.
LIEING BABYSITTER SITS ON MAN, CAUSES ANAL SEX
2007-10-10 00:00:00
pornaccess.com · Misinformation, lack of integrity and corruption are not limited to politics and the corporate world. There are people of all walks of life guilty of unethical working practices. In this example a babysitter is clearly not doing what her job title suggest she should do, but sits on the penis of a naked man causing it to penetrate her anus.
HOT! CANDLE EJACULATES OVER ARIEL REBEL
2007-09-28 00:08:00
arielrebel.com · Porn star Ariel Rebel was taken by surprise when a candle she was holding suddenly ejaculated very hot sperm all over her body. The electricity had been cut off for several hours and she was using a candle as a light source. Her nakedness must have over-excited the flame and caused the multiple spurts.
BUSH ANNOUNCES DEPLOYMENT OF LESBIAN COMMANDO
2007-09-15 01:59:00
clubseventeen.com · A commando of topless lesbians is to be sent to Iraq to win the war and bring peace to the region. The offensive — code named ?Shock and Phwoaaarrr? — will restore security in a matter of days. At a press conference the President explained that exposing nipples in the general direction of the enemy ?will make ?em drown in their own drool?.
FIRST REPORTED CASE OF FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE IN HUMANS
2007-09-08 01:05:00
barefoot****ers.com · Following the discovery of foot-and-mouth disease in a farm in England there are reports that the condition has ?jumped the species barrier? to humans. A number of actors in the adult entertainment industry appear to have caught the disease. Virologists believe this can only explained in terms of acts of bestiality involving humans and infected farm animals.
More About: Mouth
LOLLIPOP SHARING CAUSES OUTBREAK OF LESBIANISM
2007-08-30 01:50:00
kristinafey.com · An epidemic is developing amongst female lollipop addicts who share their daily lick between themselves thus spreading the virus that causes lesbianism. Porn star Kristina Fey (pictured) was identified as one of the first victims. Medical authorities are urging females to avoid sharing their lollipops and urging them to ?limit any licking to male genitals instead?.
AMATEUR PORN MODEL SHOOTS HERSELF
2007-08-22 02:26:00
amateurbangers.com · This was a tragedy that was waiting to happen and consequently caught on camera: an inexperienced model picked up a camera and shot herself all over, including both of her breasts. The footage also shows the victim scribbling something above her pubic hair ? a final message that hasn?t yet been deciphered.
MINISKIRT INDUSTRY AFFECTED BY SHORTAGE IN TEXTILES
2007-08-08 21:53:00
brookeskye.com · As if the price of oil, the economy and climate change was not enough to worry about. Now a shortage of textiles is threatening the miniskirt industry. But it?s not all bad news: miniskirts are getting smaller, tighter and more revealing. And for that many heterosexual men and lesbians are very grateful.
DROUGHT FORCES WOMEN TO DRINK MOISTURE FROM MEN?S ANUSES
2007-07-23 01:28:00
pornaccess.com · Droughts have hit certain regions of Australia hard this year forcing people to take drastic measures to find water. After extensive searching limited amounts were found where the sun doesn?t shine: women have been drinking the moisture that forms around the anuses of particularly obese men. Some have reported a taste similar to typical British lagers.
More About: Anus
GIRLS TRIES TO RE-MILK HERSELF, MAKES A MESS
2007-07-17 21:13:00
flashybabes.com · A confused young lady has attempted to re-milk her breasts by pouring milk over them using a 2 pint jug. Given the semi-permeable nature of the human skin the milk flowed to the floor. When asked about the act she explained that she had been ill the day they studied mammary anatomy and breastfeeding in her biology class.
DUCT TAPE HELPS KEEP SHEMALES ALL IN ONE PIECE
2007-07-11 00:05:00
transsexualsporno.com People who?s gender is not ?out of the box? female often suffer from a physio-destructive condition affecting their bones, muscles and skin tissues. Limbs are particularly prone to this and the only treatment available is to use duct tape to keep them whole. There is no cure but fortunately duct tape is cheap and can be purchased at any local hardware store.
PARIS HILTON GAINS WEIGHT IN JAIL, MYSTERY MEAT REVEALED
2007-07-04 01:03:00
pornaccess.com The Free Porn Times has beaten tmz.com to exclusive photos of Paris Hilton on her 11th day of captivity. The images clearly show Paris Hilton sporting a Britney Spears inspired hairless-do whilst performing an oral sex act on a ?mystery meat?, which explains the considerable and very visible gain in weight.
ANA LICKOVA DISQUALIFIED FROM WIMBLEDON
2007-06-29 00:21:00
lifeinmovies.com The Russian tennis champ was kicked out of the tournament for breaking rule 32.8 which states that ?players must at all times control regulation size tennis rackets with the right or the left hand.? Miss Lickova had lost the first set 6-0 and was trailing 5-0 in the second when she decided to use her anus to hold her racket, but was disqualified because of the technicality.
LEAKED PICS CONFIRM SICKO MOVIE AS COMMIE PROPAGANDA
2007-06-21 21:33:00
ballhoneys.com Photographs have been published on a popular adult website showing Fidel Castro?s granddaughter using all her available assets to make a statement about Cuba?s health care system and the capabilities of its doctors. The media believes this to be the evidence that prompted the federal government to investigate ?Sicko?, the latest offering by filmmaker Comrade Michael Moore. The Free Porn Times invites its readers to boycott the movie and watch some god fearing free American porn.
LUCY SUMMERS? FLYING BUTTRESS SAVES PIER
2007-06-13 00:21:00
lucysummers.com Even porn stars are concerned about the structural integrity of our built environment. Piers are particularly vulnerable because of the salty water, fine sand and big waves. But not if Lucy Summers is around ? she can help make piers stronger by fashioning herself as an arc-boutant, thus transmitting part of the load through her rather gorgeous body to the sea floor.
SCIENTISTS BUILD IN VITRO WOMAN FOR ORAL SEX
2007-06-02 23:37:00
whiteghetto.com Science has come a long way since the days of Frankenstein builds. Advances in molecular biology, chemistry, physics and technology have allowed a group of scientists develop a ?pseudo-woman? with perfect physical and mental characteristics to deliver the highest quality oral sex. Optimum levels of in-mouth moisture and suckage pressures are regulated electronically ? the pseudo-woman takes 4 AAA batteries in her pseudo-anus.
More About: Oral Sex
MOUSE FORCES CO-WORKERS TO COPULATE ON DESKTOP
2007-05-18 02:34:00
pornaccess.com Climate change, availability of foodstuffs and dirty rooms are all contributing factors resulting in the increase of the mouse population in offices. Sightings are being reported on a weekly basis. This presents a problem for co-workers who perform sexual acts on office floors. Many are forced to use desktops to avoid being nibbled about their nakedness. In this case, however, the mouse ran away scared because of the doggie-style position.
PARIS HILTON?S DOG CONVICTED OF GREVIOUS BODILY FOUL
2007-05-08 22:23:00
freeporntimes.com · Tinkerbell Hilton paid a high price for her loyalty when she was caught fouling on the doorstep of Superior Court Judge Michael Sauer?s house, only days after Paris Hilton?s conviction. The accessory Chihuahua will now spend 45 days in a high security doghouse, a much humbler abode than the luxurious Louis Vutton bag that she is usually resides.
ATTACK OF THE KILLER CLOTHES PEGS
2007-05-03 02:17:00
pornaccess A swarm of killer clothes pegs has been terrorising women in southern Missouri, targeting those who have particularly large nipples and have just showered. The pegs start off my restraining victims using ropes, gagging their mouths using pink snooker balls and then clamping onto arms and breasts in a linear formation. They eventually release from the victim when dry and, inevitably, one or two go missing or break.
MAN HAS THREESOME WITH OWN REFLECTIONS
2007-04-26 03:31:00
itslive.com · Mirror technology has evolved a great deal in the last decade and can now help fulfil one?s sexual ambitions. They are not just for looking at one?s self when washing or dressing, for example, but are active sexual partners. By using multiple mirrors placed at the calculated angles you can effectively organised orgies with your own reflections.
GET A PIECE OF ADAM & EVE'S ASS
2007-04-17 01:28:00
adameve.com Carbon dating has ruled out that the item being sold at online adult toy store adameve.com is a holy relic. However, sales remain high following the extensive media coverage of the story and the continuing controversy over ass certification legislation (FPT, Issue 1 – 30 August 2006). adameve.com claim that the product is made out of Cyberskin? and molded from porn star from Carmen Luvana genital area. Are they suggesting they where 3 in the garden of Eden?
SUPERHERO'S PETULANT ANUS SAVES THE DAY
2007-04-13 04:09:00
atomfilms.com Howard TV?s cult movie Fartman: Caught in a Tight Ass is clearly inspired by adventures of superheros such as Superman, Batman and Flash and the fight between good and evil, but there is an underlying message: there are options other than porn to make the most of one?s anus.
More About: Anus
SHOCKING VIDEO OF QUEEN OF PHREEPORNISTAN RELEASED
2007-04-01 04:16:00
dvdbox.com To most Queen Stefanilla was their favourite royal — perfectly prim and proper ? a much admired person doing good through her many charitable activities. This perception changed as soon as a video was released showing her having sex with one of her butlers. The Royal Press Office issued a statement claiming Queen Stefanilla did, in fact, slip into the butler after having a shower.
PORSCHE ISSUE HOT GIRLS AS CLEANING DEVICES
2007-03-24 23:12:00
pornaccess.com The German sports car manufacturer has decided to issue sexy young girls together with the spare tyre, safety triangle and other accessories. Engineers were finally able to solve problems relating to storage with by designing foldable girls that can be neatly placed in the boot. Other car manufacturers are expected to offer the same towards the end of 2007.
BLONDE THAT MAKES ICE CREAM ITSELF IS HOT
2007-03-17 02:39:00
dvdbox.com There is a lot of talk in the press about global warming and melting ice caps. What you don?t read about, however, is the melt-down caused by hot porn stars eating ice cream as if performing an oral sex act. Scientists believe that by 2076 all ice cream will have melted unless drastic action is taken to prevent scenes as the ones reported in this story.
More About: Cream
PENIS LENGTH TO BE MEASURED IN FEET
2007-03-06 23:31:00
rawporngalleries.com The United Nations has recommended that a new system be adopted globally to measure the length of penises. Inches and centimetres have been dropped in favour of feet, a measure most people seem to enjoy using. A number sub-units have been defined as: leg (or ?massive foot?), big foot, ?girlie foot? and ?toe? for really small penises.
More About: Feet , Penis
SHEMALE BUYS BRITNEY SPEARS? HAIR ON EBAY
2007-02-23 22:09:00
transsexualsporno.com Hair is a major issue with shemales who are forced to battle stubble, hairy chests and legs on a daily basis. This was pointed out by Stefania Stella, a shemale who paid $45,000,000 on eBay for Britney Spears? golden locks. He She Stefania may be heavily in debt now but feels more of a woman than she ever was, and hopes that Britney does it again to replace pubic and armpit hair too.
More About: Shemale
NEW STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN VIDEO IS RATED X
2007-02-19 04:00:00
pornaccess.com As the lines between adult and mainstream media become more blurred a new video is released for all-time classic Stairway To Heaven, with a strong focus on sex. The video features an old lady and man having sex on a staircase; the latter representing ?the stairway? and his pleasure (as well as her age) reinforcing the idea of ?heaven?. And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.
99926 blogs in the directory.
Statistics resets every week.

© Adult Blog Toplist 2007 - 2019
All rights reserved.